Things I Never Want to Run Out Of
Five things. If a genie showed up in my living room tomorrow, this is what I'd waste the wishes on. In no particular order.
The Last Sheet
The obvious one, and probably number one on most people's list if they were asked. You realise mid-sit. Trousers around your ankles, you are now solving a physics problem you did not sign up for. None of your options are dignified. I would like a toilet roll that never ends.
The Great Hand Soap Dilution Project
Another one that gets me every time. I keep bottles in the usual places, kitchen and bathroom, and whenever one is close to empty I do the same thing everyone does. I add a bit of water. Give it a shake. A few days later, more water.
Why do I always add water first, instead of just replacing the bottle? Only reason I can think of is that I want to delay the act of replacing it for as long as physically possible. At some point I am no longer washing my hands with soap. I am washing them with the faint memory of soap.
Caught Short
I've got a dog, and like most people with dogs, I've got a little bag holder attached to his harness. The number of times I have forgotten to restock it before a walk is genuinely astonishing. And pretty much every time I've forgotten, he has decided that this is the walk to do business. Sometimes twice.
What follows is me standing next to the crime scene and thinking, "surely I have something." I don't. I never do. Then it's either finding a public dispenser, or the walk home to grab a bag and come back, because you know, trying to be a good citizen and all that.
Ice, Actually
This one is simple. I would like an ice tray that refills itself with water every time I take ice cubes out. Preferably one that also freezes them instantly, so when I actually want ice in something, there is ice. Not a mostly-empty tray with two half-formed cubes stuck to the bottom. That's all I have to say about this one.
The Charging Schedule
We all know the pain of running out of phone battery. Honestly, I don't mind that one too much. I can put the phone down for a few hours. What actually gets me is running out of headphone battery mid-workout, or mid-call, or mid-anything.
The number of battery-reliant devices I own has quietly exploded over the last decade. Daily rotation: phone, watch, headphones, earphones, Kindle. Occasional rotation: massage gun, portable speaker, and a couple of things I have probably forgotten about because they haven't been charged in a year.
Between all of them, I am running what feels like a small internal energy department. Charging schedules, cable inventory, that one drawer full of adapters I don't recognise anymore. Batteries have gotten more efficient, and I know that. I still think life would be materially better if I only had to charge any of it once a year.
None of these are real problems. Which is exactly why I've thought about them enough to write these words about it.
But there is something quietly great about the idea of never having to think about any of them again. It isn't that they are big. It's that they are constant.
The tax is small. It is also endless.